There are a lot of myths when it comes to having your baby, and there can be a lot of comparison. Whether it is bonding, sleep, or competing on coping, here are some of the most common ones:
You will bond with your baby straight after he or she is born.
This is not the case for everyone, particularly if the birth has been difficult or there are other sources of stress going on for the mum or people involved.
The other mothers seem to be coping much better than me.
Be careful here, this is a big one. Do you really know what is going on here, are you with those mums 24/7? Remember if you are feeling down yourself, your mind can go this way when it is not necessarily the case. Most mums struggle at some point. Find the honest ones!
I’ve always wanted to be a mum so it should be natural for me.
Not necessarily, sometimes mums who feel this actually struggle more, as they also turn against themselves for not ‘naturally’ fitting in that role.
We conceived after IVF and/or miscarrying, so I should be grateful and get on with it.
Nope. Sometimes when what we have longed for eventually arrives we can still struggle. Perhaps it is not what we expected, perhaps when we finally get there, we are exhausted.
Everyone else’s baby is sleeping except mine.
No…chances are lots of babies are not sleeping very well. It is just part of the motherhood myth that a lot of us buy into that we must appear to be ‘doing it right’ and that includes baby’s sleep.
There’s a right way to mother.
Not really, there is the way that suits you and your baby, and your family. You won’t be short of people giving advice on how to do it, though! (Hint: Humming one of favourite your songs quietly, visualising a shield around you and paying no attention works well here!)
A good mum puts everyone else first.
Hmm, but at what cost? And is this really sustainable? Chances are you will burn out and end up unwell. You’ve probably heard that old cliché but it is so true: “Healthy mum, healthy baby”.